Saturday, September 28, 2013

Rough Night

The one disadvantage of now being able to reach REM sleep - a new experience for me - is that I dream now. A lot. 90% of the time I don't get those fun dreams where I get to fly around unfettered from normal mortal restraints  My dreams always seem to be introspective or about things from my past that I normally try not to dwell on. I've been known for allowing the past to sit heavily on me, though over the last few years I've gotten much better at not dwelling. But the times I let my guard down, those great chains of 'what if' try to pull me under, and they stay with me far too long, as if to make up for lost time. When I dream about days gone by, those heavy irons persist all the longer, permeating my thoughts so deeply that I struggle to clear it out. Friday night's dreaming has made for a downer of a weekend, even days later when I cannot recall anything from the dream except for faces.

One day I'll learn to stop letting my mind torment me about things that happened in the past. 

Today is not that day.

Time heals all wounds, but often it’s only by the application of the grave, and while we live some hurts live with us, burning, making us twist and turn to escape them. And as we twist, we turn into other men.

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