Friday, July 23, 2010

Cleaning Up, Moving On

(Do you ever jot down random, orderless thoughts onto a notepad? That's what this is. Except with numbers. Prepare for very scattered thoughts)

1) This past month has been interesting. Tough, but probably something I needed to shock me into much needed action. Why did I decide to spend all this time being there for someone who was never there for me? I have no idea. Sometimes I make foolish decisions. But I've cleaned out all this clutter and I'm starting fresh. It's going to be a good. I don't easily get into a funk, and I think this is the longest one I've had in quite a while. Being grim and droll just isn't my style. I'm pleased that those (funky) clouds are passing.

2) I was reminded recently by someone I haven't known all that long that there are still unique people out there who are truly individuals. And that pretty much made my day. I can't recall the last time the sheer force of someone's personality blew me away, but it's a fantastic thing to experience.

3) Work life has been a bit up and down lately. My company was recently sold - well, not my company or I'd not have anything to worry about - so we've all been quite unsure about the future. For some reason, the uncertainty hasn't bothered me as it probably should have, though I'm sure a day was coming where it might start stressing me out. But I had a hard time not seeing this as an opportunity.

Yesterday at last we were given some news and it is quite favorable for me. Much better than I anticipated. Sadly, I won't be able to retire, but I'm thinking that this time next year I might finally be able to take a decent stretch of time off and go see some of the places I've been wanting to visit for so long. Machu Picchu and the Blue Hole in Belize are high on my list.

But for now I'd be happy with any [oil free] beach as I've not been in a number of years, and surely it cannot be healthy to spend so long a time without smelling ocean air, hearing the crashing of waves and feeling sand between your toes.

4) I'm sad that I will miss hang-gliding YET AGAIN this year. The trip happens this weekend but I have developed bicep tendonitis (for the second time this year) in my right arm and it currently hangs uselessly at my side, so it's probably best not to do any activities that require me to hold onto something so that I don't die. Speaking of tendonitis, does anyone else hate it when a word can be spelled two ways and both are correct? Pretty cocky. I'm looking at you too, "judgment".

5) I've been making great strides with my project to get myself back in shape. Sure, I've seen more bare, male ass (at the gym, let me clarify) than anyone should ever be forced to endure, but hopefully it will be worth it.
I faltered for a few weeks but I've been back on track for a bit now (which makes the gimp arm all the more frustrating). I've even been sticking to my good eating habits and that is where I usually mess up the quickest. I have one time attempted to eat badly and fate was against me and foiled my plans. As I [for some reason] jogged up the steps in my house, my foot slipped, causing me to painfully slam my knee into the stairs and to awkwardly hit myself in the face with a hamburger.

6) I'm going to see my grandfather this weekend. His time appears to be growing exceptionally short and I have to make sure I see him at least once more, even though the man he was is buried so deep that he's hard to reach. But he's in there.

When my Mother visited him recently, he was having a good day and they were talking about life and my grandfather told her to tell me "not to worry". As she left, he told her to pass along the message that he'd like to see me. Then he grabbed her and turned her around and said, "No, you tell him I need to see him".
So see me he shall.

And that is all really. I'm back in my optimistic frame of mind and I'm looking forward to the future and seeing where I end up. Not where I expected, but it will be great all the same. There's a few rough patches ahead but I'll make it through.

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