Friday, October 20, 2006

Dear Guy Who Nearly Plowed Into the Back of My Car At 80MPH and Then Gave Me the Finger...

Please heed my advice:


There's a reason the back of my car turns different colors and it's not just to be festive. Sure, I'm aware the holiday season is soon upon us, but I don't celebrate this early. When my car begins to light up red on both sides, that doesn't mean my car is powering up so that I may speed up and that it's safe for you to do the same. In fact one might call it the very opposite, so let's go with that.

In addition, that blinking orange light that only appears on either the right or left side of the back of my car is a hint. All the reasons behind it are likely too complex for you to grasp so let's go with something simple such as that it means I'm probably about to go that direction. I like to let them blink a while as you probably noticed for the good 25 to 30 seconds that I had them on during which time I gradually slowed down. I feel this really gives people like you time for that ole brain to wind up and figure out what I'm trying to get across to you; a chance to crack the Rosetta Stone of my evidently cryptic clues.

And please, when you decide to try and swerve around me because you couldn't break the riddle that is my need to turn, try and swerve in the opposite direction of the blinking light. Otherwise you'll hit me directly in the side, inevitably right where I am sitting, and I generally find that pretty annoying especially since you probably don't have insurance.

Thanks,
Guy Who Uses His Blinkers For a Very Specific Reason

1 comment:

Azure said...

Did you remember to make the 'glass breaking' noise, or were you too angry to make sound effects for your car? :-P